2. Due to the above we should all have some sort of colic medication- preferably herbal if you are a hippie or infacol if you are a desperate hippie, from the get go! I didn’t and learnt the hard way.
3. Sleep deprivation slaps you like a mean bitch in the face from day one in hospital. You adapt some how, but there are days and moments when you feel like you won’t make it. Luckily no one has ever died of sleep deprivation thus far apparently?
4. A good breastfeeding latch is pretty damn important- especially if you have a windy babe or it’s your first rodeo! Even breastfeeding for the second time I needed to tweak things a lot. Support with b-feeding is pretty essential.
5. We all look at ourselves and our diets while breastfeeding wondering if you should cut things out to help with wind. I did with Selah and didn’t with Izzy and go the same results- this is however very subjective.
6. A dummy makes motherhood easier- I swear. If you don’t believe in dummies, you need a high five coz you are a stronger mom than me!
7. Bathing a newborn is terrifying- they are super slippery. Using a bathing device that works well is key. Oh and two people are essential- even if it’s just for moral support.
8. Life can be extremely mundane and boring often as you feel too scared to do anything- find joy in the small things like cake, hot coffee, a hot shower or a crisp glass of rosé. Life does improve I promise, and soon you will be having a coffee with a girl friend alone without paralyzing anxiety and guilt for leaving your babe at home.
9. You have to accept a drop in standards with respect to your home (and other things) not being neat, clean and perfect. I’m still working at it this time as my toddler/covid/no school are also reasons my standards have dropped (again).
10. You will never want to stop eating in the beginning. And generally it will be carbs of all forms that you will want- mainly sweet ones to be honest. This will settle, but it won’t go away. You are breastfeeding- it’s not a walk in the park for the metabolism, it needs the energy.
11. You will have body issues. Whether you have worked in this space for years (like me) or not. Your body will be soft, wobbly, generally smell like breadtmilk, feel super weak when you walk up stairs, your neck and shoulders will ache at times and you eventually will dream of being fit but have NO idea how you will ever get there.
12. You will have moments of such deep overwhelming love juxtaposed with feelings of desperation and fatigue. The love is so good, it’s like a trip, and it eventually drowns out the fatigue to some extent (and they do eventually sleep better).
13. You will resent your husband at times. You will feel extremely jealous that he can go to work, soccer, drinks, the toilet- all without any guilt. You will also miss him a lot, on many levels- perhaps sleeping next to him, perhaps the evenings you used to spend together, perhaps the weekends and how they used to be. We need to make MUCH more of an effort with each other now- but this new chapters’ love flows a lot deeper. It’s a love that feels so much more real, protective, durable.
14. You will feel like you achieve ZERO in a day other than keep a baby alive. That’s pretty big- give yourself some credit.
15. You will live with guilt lurking in your tummy (always, if not often)- it’s like part of the passage of motherhood. You will probably second guess everything you do and feel guilty for a lot of what you do and don’t do. (Motherhood aside, guilt does make us fat and your mother instinct is the most powerful tool you have- try keep those two in mind).
16. You need a nanny or your mom close by, and if you don’t have a either you need a golden crown of jewels because you are a bloody hero queen.
17. You will want to exercise (in your head), but getting yourself to do it is another whole bloody story. Baby steps and mini victories is my mantra this time- like running up my stairs instead of walking is a high five!
18. You will probably feel super anxious about driving, socializing or just having a visitor in case baby screams. All of a sudden you are not in control our outcomes anymore. This has challenged me a lot.
Isn’t this passage of motherhood just so powerful. It truly is the greatest journey of growth I’ve had in my little life.
To all mothers.
To the messiness and beauty in it all!